It’s been almost a week since I had lunch with a former boss and mentor-type friend. I semi-regret not getting to know him as well during the span that I was on his staff, but regrets are for regretters, and I don’t want to be one of those. Nonetheless, the meal was good, and the chat even better.
Discussing some of lifes more important issues (such as cell phones going off while performing weddings), he asked me three questions. They are three questions that have been haunting me for the past week. Not haunting in a weird Halloween sort-of-way, nor a creepy haunting you get after watching The Shining and have re-occuring dreams of Jack Nicholson ambling toward you with an axe. Rather, it’s been a contemplative series of questions that have made me think.
He told me they are three questions that he asks himself every now and then to evaluate what he’s doing and where he’s at. They come from the first book of the Bible as God is talking with/to the woman and man. Here goes:
- Where are you?
- Who told you that you were naked?
- What have you done?
I get pretty comical picture in my head of this dude, Adam, and this lady, Eve, that was with him hiding in bushes from the Being that created them. He asks them, “Where are you?” If I were Adam, I’d be thinking Frick, frick, frick. Eve, I think God is onto us. Keep hiding, maybe He won’t find us.
Stupid.
It’s not really a question where God is looking for an answer. Rather its more of a question posed to the two folks hiding in the bushes. Do you know where you are? Of course I know where I’m at, God. I’m sitting in a coffee shop while my butt is getting sore from this uncomfortable contraption that they’re passing off as a chair.
But really, where am I.
The three questions are just good ones. They force us to take a step back and see ourselves from a different perspective. Where are you right now? Where is your mind. Where is your heart. Who told you that you were naked? Who told you that you weren’t good enough. Who told you those lies that you’re living into. What sort of irrational fears are you believing. What have you done? Why are you holding onto those fears and reacting to them and not grasping that I love you as you are. What have you done and what are you going to do for My Kingdom.
I find it excrutiatingly painful to try and live out of the Truth that I am loved and that grace is persistently shown to me despite what I have done and what I do to try and gain approval from the things, people, and structures that surround me.
I also find it excruciatingly painful to continue sitting in this chair as my butt is slowly going numb. Peace.
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