Verbs & Nouns

I finished a book a few days ago that I thoroughly enjoyed front to back. Still not able to shake off the nerdy “Let’s keep notes on books I read!” habit that I developed the last few years in school, I took notes from time to time and reflected on them.

This one comes from a piece in the book where the main character is conversing with God who is personified by a large, black lady who seems to be a master of a cook. God tells the character in the book that She lives, in essence, as a verb. She is more in tune to verbs such as sing-ing, danc-ing, lov-ing, grow-ing, reap-ing, repent-ing, confess-ing, etc…ing. Humans, God says, have a knack for taking these animated and stimulating words and turning them into simple nouns. When we turn these lively words into nouns, they die.

Here’s a great example of what She (God) says:

“Let’s use the example of friendship and how removing the element of life from a verb can drastically alter a relationship. If you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’ – spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend” (W.P.Y., The Shack, 205).

These words are lovely!

Though not entirely with every situation, I can insert many of my relationships with friends that go awry into this statement. When we have certain expectations for people and relationships, something will, inevitably, come about that will let our perception of that other person be tainted (and vice versa). This can be a painful and confusing time where you have an expectancy of the other person and they flat out fail to meet it.

This is something I have been trying to work on as of late. Not having huge expectations – or any at all – is tough to do (and seemingly impossible) given the context a lot of us have grown up in. However, I’ve noticed that when I do venture out and let those preconceived ideas about other folks go and just enjoy being in the presence of the other, that time is wonderfully spent.

No agenda. No rules. No limitations to where that friendship can go.

What a great thing to think about and to strive for in day-to-day interactions with people. I hope that I can let those faulty perceptions of mine hang low (or maybe even disappear!?) as I enter into new stories and relationships in life. God- help my relationships and my life be lived as a verb.

Peace.